Death Note
by toxic-bunny666
Summary: wow real original title... basically the story of deathnote only with oc discontinued
1. Chapter 1

Deathnote

Death note

Character list:

Light: Georgia

L: Alice

Misa: Yi

Ryuk: Evelyn

Rem: Helen

Soichiro (lights dad): Louise

Mogi: Christina

Matsuda: Rd

Watari: Marge

Higuchi: Shi

Aiber: Waffles

Wedy: Carmen

Demegawa: Sam

Naomi: Steven

Raye: Chen

Sayu: Lucy

Ukita: Princess Muffin Monkey (Georgia's cactus)

Aizawa: Jeffrey

Authors note: ok people remember this now cos I'm going to use the people's names not the character names but they are going to keep their genders. Understand?

Editors note: NO

Authors note: too bad. Good luck people

Chapter 1: boredom

One fine day in the Shinigami world, Evelyn the death god was sitting on a rock quoting her quotes as usual. And as usual no one was insane enough to listen to her. Damn Shinigamis these days, she thought, no one appreciates good quotes anymore. Well it's been five days now…

'Hey Evey! Where are you going?'

'The human world I threw my notebook down there on Monday'

'… Again?'

In the human world a 'genius' named Georgia was sitting through physics class and thinking how horrible and rotten the world is because that's exactly what kids these days think during school (especially those emo ones…) where suddenly something on the ground in the courtyard caught his eye. A black notebook appeared out of nowhere. Tsk, thought Georgia, litterbugs- someone ought to kill them all.

Physics teacher whack Georgia on the head. 'Pay attention! Answer question B'

'But sir, I don't believe in physics.'

'…'

(Georgia resumes her inattention)

'How can you not believe in physics?'

'Because there are things flying in the sky all the time. Gravity doesn't make sense (author: yes it does… authors gets whacked with giant mallet) because that would mean you can't jump!Physics is a lie. You can't make me believe in atoms.'

'But atoms make up… everything.'

'No they don't molecules do. They are real.'

'But molecules are a group of atoms.'

'You lie! Go do your lie dance somewhere else you lie dancing man you…'

'…'

'Fine I don't believe in molecules either!'

'Resume what were doing before Mr Yagami'

The world sucks…

Georgia (being the model citizen he was) picked up the strange notebook and discovered it was already written in and more annoying it was written in English. He takes it home and has his sister Lucy read it to him.

'Translate this for me and I'll do your algebra homework'

'Deal.' (It's not hard because they are both fluent in English…)

'This is a Death God's notebook. The human whose name is written in this note shall die. This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing his/her name. If the cause of death is written within 40 seconds of the writing of the person's name, it will happen. If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack. After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds. You don't really believe this Georgia do you? Its obviously a prank.'

'Of course I don't… dare you to try it!'

'No… double dare you to try it.' (They are so mature…)

'Look I'm done with your algebra,' he chucks the worksheet into the hall.

'HEY! "I hate Light and I hate myself" doesn't answer any of the questions! GEORGIA!' but it was too late Georgia had already locked the door.

He throws the notebook at the wall and sits on bed and stares at it. 'I should use it. I should try it…. (Runs across room and grabs book) now who to kill first…lets kill Lucy? No dad lets kill dad. Wait that's bad what if they find out, mum's bound to notice them missing I think- wait who is my mum?... well whatever. But if the does work, and there is a slight chance it might, then I'd be in big trouble. Best to stick with someone that I don't know (plus who would do my homework then). Then there's the slight moral issue about maybe killing someone and being a murderer but never mind that.

Conveniently the news broadcasts a live report about a man holding a kindergarten hostage. 'Hey,' thought Georgia, 'there's an idiot I can kill, dumbass hurting the little midgets. He will pay. Bring on the Death. It's okay if I kill someone who deserves to die, Why the hell am I justifying this ok whatever I'm right your wrong bring on the Death. He the scribbles in name into the notebook. 40 seconds later the hostages were released. The criminal had died of what seems like a heart attack! Could be a coincidence, thought Georgia. Must try it again sometime…

Georgia went through the next day fighting the temptation to kill everyone that walked past him. How as he was walking home past k-road (nz reference) from school he noticed a group of men harassing a girl. He goes up to the main guy and holds up a fist, 'b tell me your name.'

'F no…'

Darn foiled again. He retreats into a Four Square (convenience store).

The man turn back to the girl. 'You baby can know my name. Its Michael Johnson almost like that famous guy Michael Jackson. Like spelt M-I-C-H-E-A-L-SPACE-J-O-H-N-S-O-N.'

'Hmmmm,' Georgia mutters. ' How convenient… how many people go around giving their names like that.'

He scribbles down the name 6 times with traffic accident (first 5 times were spelt wrong…) and sure enough Michael Johnson steps onto the road and is run over by a truck. "Yes I control the world me no die." (An: yes u will…. Everyone will one day even you editor En shuddap.. gets out axe… you'll die before me mwa(ha)3)

So now Georgia is weighed down with the guilt from killing two people. He skips down the rest of the road and says to himself. 'Those two people were scum that is making the world sucky. They deserved to die. Their friends and family will get over it because they too will realise how horrible those people are. I'm like a superhero killing all the bad guys and making this world a better place to live in. Once people realise that bad people are dying they won't do bad things either. Everyone will be happy. This method is much better than all that green peace stuff. (L: 5 steps of self-denial light: your sooo hot)

Evelyn the shinigami creeps through Georgia's window. Georgia spins around "OMFG THAT IS HIDEOUS! oh look there's something over by the window that I think I should be looking at maybe I should turn away from mirror and look at it."

"Hi I'm…"

"I know who you are! You're Barney! You came to perv on me haven't you, you big pedo dinosaur you."

"ummmm.. Sure except I'm a death god and I'm here to take your soul.. Kinda…"

"What soul?"

"You know that notebook?"

"You mean my super special awesome magic book?"

"Er… yea…. Sure… that book. It's mine."

"Well its mine now!" shoves notebook down top. "Try getting it now!"

"…"

"Wait you're Barney.. You would"

"…'

Looks scared and clutches chest.

"Ok ummmm Georgia is it?… I'm your English teacher. Lemme see what you've done."

Bites Evelyn's hand.

"ARGHHH… is this what you do to you're English teacher?"

Nods.

"…"

Finally after several hours Evelyn wrestles the notebook out of Georgia's hands (Georgia: Barney's raping me!) Evelyn looks over the three pages that Georgia had done.

"Wow! You did so much work!"

"Work? This isn't work. This is … Fun!"

"GEORGIA!" shouts Georgia's mother. "I'm coming in!"

"shini-watchyamaface go hide somewhere."

Evelyn the shinigami hides behind the lampshade.

"…. (Georgia's mother walks inside; Georgia turns to look at his mother and turns back) I TOLD YOU TO HIDE! (Turns back to mother) we're rehearsing for a play for err… chemistry class."

"We're? Ah… never mind. You're results came back!"

" I swear I didn't do it. He did it! (Points to mirror)"

" Right… you came first in the nation again!"

" Great (turns away)"

Mother backs slowly away and leaves.

" LUCY!"

" What Georgia?"

"When did I do a test?"

"Um… last week?"

"(Whispers) between you and me how did I come first?"

"Remember the invisible ink, the classroom room ceiling and the special contact lenses?"

"Is that what all that was…."

"You know it would have been easier just for you to study…"

"(Turns to Evelyn) WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE I WANNA CHANGE NOW!"

"Your sister is still into the room."

"Why can't she see you?" (Lucy creeps out of the room)

"Only someone that has touched the note can see me. The death note is the contract between the shinigami Evelyn and the human Georgia."

"WHAT CONTRACT I DON'T REMEMBER SIGNING A CONTRACT!"

"You get the death note and I get to perv on you 24/7"

Georgia pulls out lighter.

" I WAS KIDDING!" (Shifty eyes)

"Anything else important you wanna tell me so I can forget?"

"Um.. I'll probably kill you in the end. And you won't go to heaven or hell. Out of curiosity why have you only been killing people with heart attacks?"

"Cos it saves me from carrying around a dictionary. And eventually someone will notice and people will stop doing bad things cos they realise that all the baddies are dying. Ill create a utopia… WHERE I RULE OVER IT LIKE A DICTATOR… I MEAN GOD… I MEAN A GOOD PERSON RULER THING."

Meanwhile some far far away underground the Interpol people (editor: mole people) finally realised after 52 criminals in one week have died that something was wrong. And somewhere else far far away in a castle in the sky Alice thought herself/himself 'finally…'

Author and editor's note

A: brandy snaps

E: MY GOD WOMAN I'm not making you any

A: awwww

E: (glares)

A: if you have made it this far. Wow….

E: meh

A: isn't it ironic that the editor spells worse than me?

E: shut up. That's what spell check is for you muufu.


	2. Chapter 2

Character list:

Death note chapter 2

Six hundred feet underground, the mole people (aka Interpol) were discussing important matters.

"Okay now that we have the doughnut situation sorted out (Ed: oh can I have one? Chocolate and jam?), there is the small matter of criminals dropping dead everywhere by heart attacks," says a random policeman (Ed: officer)

"Wow that's an interesting coincidence," says another random policeman officer.

"Its obviously not a coincidence! They are being murdered!" exclaimed a particularly hardworking policeman officer from New Zealand/Japan/America (Ed: where are we? Au: we'll decide eventually), Louise.

"But heart attacks are under the natural cause of death in this book, law enforcement for dummies."

"The dummy is right."

"They deserved to die anyways."

"Lets get L."

"Why?"

"He's hot." (Ed: mmmm doughnuts smothered in aLice)

"But you've never seen him before."

"But you just know he's hot. His voice makes me melt into gloop. He's so smexy."

"Ok lets get Marge then"

A great shadow loomed over the hall.

"L is already involved!" boomed a deep voice.

The figure walked out of the shadows and revealed a small man in a great big black coat covered with black and white lace. He carried a leather briefcase, also adorn with lace and frills, in which revealed a laptop with a single letter on the screen. L

"Silence now, I give the voice of L."

The fanboys in the front settled down and stopped drooling. (Au: and the editor needs to stop screaming)

Yes? May I help you?

"Um aren't you already involved?"

No actually I'm single at the moment. Did you guys call me just for that?

"No, criminals are dying everywhere, from heart attacks."

But the official law enforcement for dummies states that heart attacks are natural causes of death. I don't see the need for a detective in this case. I didn't go well against nature last time. What they need is better food and exercise (Ed&au: we concur!)

"But lots and lots of them are dying," whined Louise.

Fine I'll take a look (really reluctantly) sigh

Meanwhile at Georgia's school:

"Did you check out the news last night?"

"Yeah! Bad guys are dropping dead one after another."

"Do you think it's the police?"

"No, I think its batman!"

Silence

"I think its GOD!"

"Er… I never knew you were religious Georgia."

"I'm not!" He laughs manically, as the other students back slowly into the classroom.

Twelve minutes twenty-three point nine seconds later the principal yanks open his door and shouts down the hall. "WILL YOU GO TO CLASS AND STOP LAUGHING!"

"Why are you still in my house?"

"Its in the contract."

"Why you in leather pants?"

"Its in the contract."

"Why are they so tight?"

"Guess"

"To show off your abnormally round ass?"

"No"

"I don't know then!"

"Come here Georgia, look at this website."

"Oh m y god you got it working."

"All I did was turn it on."

"How?"

"You push the button."

"What button?"

"The one at the side of the computer."

"There's no buttons there!"

"You do know what a button is right?"

"Of course! How do you think I get dressed every morning?"

"Anyways look at all these websites about you."

"About me?"

"Well Kira at least."

"Who?"

"You."

"My name is stupid, I mean light, I mean jerk, I mean Georgia!"

"Okay, well this is about someone base on what you are doing."

"Kira aye? Sounds awfully like killer."

"Wow you're not dumb!"

"Of course not! I'm smartest person in this country."

"Have you ever thought about whether it's wrong to kill people?"

"Of course all the time but I'm trying to be constantly in denial, everyone is, so let's forget what you just said. Are you done? Can I watch Yugioh the abridged series now? (Ed&au: rock on little kuriboh!)

We interrupt this broadcast of episode 19 to introduce to you the sexist thing ever which is being broadcasted all over the world

"This better good."

My name is Jesse L. Roukai, widely known as "aL"

"Hmmm I don't think much of the person but that is one smexy voice"

To the perpetrator of these serial murders. You have committed the most abominable act in history. I will personally catch the one behind it, Kira, at any cost

"Um Georgia do you want to kill him?"

"Awww do I have to? He's voice is so smexy!"

"But he's going to catch you."

"He can catch me any day."

"But you want to rule the world."

"What's your point? Every hero needs an archenemy. Even god has the devil. I happen to have one with a smexy voice. We'll be like batman and superman."

"They weren't enemies."

"Shut up! Fine I'll kill him. The face is annoying me."

Kira I think I have a pretty good idea of what you're trying to do and why you're doing it, but what you're doing IS EVIL

"Ok."

"Um… really?"

"I mean I'm justice. I am the god placed here to save the weak and create a perfect world. Those who oppose that god are evil. God I sound like an asshole."

"Self denial remember? So kill him."

"Those who oppose that god with smexy voices are smexy."

Meaningful glare from Evelyn

"Ok ok I'm doing it. I'm doing it."

"The spelling is on that name plate."

"I know, I know. I'm just… practising."

Police all over the world have already begun to investigate. Argwjaldfja…

"Hyukhyukhyukhyuk!"(Ed; stupidest laugh ever au: just because you can't pronounce it Ed: shut up whacks with fan au: knocked out Ed: poke who's going to write the story now…)

"GEORGIA! That's my laugh!"

Unbelievable! I did this on the off chance that you would kill 'me'. So Kira you can kill people even without being nearby!

"Say the smexy voice lives on!"

"Um Georgia I don't think he's dead he's still talking."

So it's true after all. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I would never have believed it. But this was the only way you could have killed them, wasn't it?

"No I could have came at him with an axe too."

Kira listen to me. The person you killed was actually a prisoner sentenced to be executed at this time today

"Bo?"

"Georgia, that means you didn't kill him."

"I knew that… yes…"

But I am, aL. So try to kill me!

"I bet that voice has a smexy owner."

Come on! What's wrong? Can't do it? Kill me!

"I think he's trying to provoke you not that you can kill him Georgia."  
"Only little immature children get provoked that easily Evelyn."

"Then why are you throwing your pens at me?"

Seems like you can't kill me after all. So there are some people that you can't kill. Just to let you know so I can piss you off further 3 (Ed: WTF is that? Au: it's a heart…) this isn't actually a worldwide live broadcast. Its actually only being shown in the Kanto area of Japan/new Zealand/America/Korea (au: cos the ed wanted it).

"YOU SON OF A BITCH WITH THE HOT VOICE!"

I was planning to do this to all the other areas until I hit the right one but its unnecessary now – thanks I can have my tea after all. The police might have missed it, but I know your first victim was that random guy that held that random kindergarten hostage and that report was only shown in Japan/New Zealand/America/Africa. ; So I knew you must be in Japan. I just decided to show it in the most populated area – I'm so smart! I just need to catch you now and find you're method of killing – shouldn't be too hard since you fell for this trap mwa(ha)3. I will hunt you down and destroy you because I am justice!

"I'll hunt you down and molest you oh smexy voice."

Do I really have to Marge?

Yes of course he's evil

Fine!

Oh the microphone is still on

"Hehe so each of you is searching for an opponent whose identity is a mystery and the first to be found out will die. This is so fun Georgia; I think I'm almost not bored now."

Author and Editor's comments:

Ed: what were we going to say? I remember us wanting to say something but I forgot…

Au: I don't know…. We did use smexy a lot aye?

Ed: yep

Au: yep

Ed: why are you called Au?

Au: I'm the author remember?

Ed: we should be called Big A and Big E and be like gangstas

Au: its too bothersome to type….

Please review

Ed: I'd promise cookies but then people would actually want them.


End file.
